Author Archives: John

Masks of Fear

If wearing a mask makes you feel short of breath or light-headed, it’s NOT because it’s “reducing your oxygen” or because it’s “trapping the CO2”. (Masks don’t actually do those things.) The symptoms are most probably due to a *panic … Continue reading

Posted in Anger Management, Coping with Sadness, Dealing with Fear, Get Rid of Anxiety, How to Stop Worrying | Leave a comment

Stop it and Get a Life

Stop it. Please. I’m writing to ask you to STOP IT. Please. You know who you are, posting announcements from Facebook applications with titles like: “Which fairy are you?” “Which day of the week are you?” “Which beer are you?” … Continue reading

Posted in Dealing with Shame, Get Rid of Anxiety, How to Be Happier, How to Stop Worrying, Self Esteem, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Victim Status – according to Brodsky

I write a good bit about victim status, seeking it, the utility of it – and the price. I just came across this fragment of a commencement speech by Joseph Brodsky, from 1988, where he speaks eloquently and directly about … Continue reading

Posted in Anger Management, Bully Blog, Coping with Sadness, Cultivating Character, Dealing with Fear, Dealing with Shame, Get Rid of Anxiety, How to Be Happier, Relationships, Self Esteem, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Clean Off the Guilt

Nobody is eager to do the job of cleaning a stinking mess off their shoe, but the alternative is to walk around smelling like that – and tracking it everywhere you go. And, whether you’re spending time “isolated together” with … Continue reading

Posted in Dealing with Shame, High Performance, How to Be Happier, How to Get Some Sleep, Relationships, Self Esteem | Leave a comment

Landmarks of the Self

People construct and experience their identity – their place in the world – largely based on their interactions with others. Disruption of one’s social interactions can lead people to lose sight of the landmarks they have chosen to navigate their … Continue reading

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Motivational Minute: Utilization Principle

This is March 20, 2020, and stress over the COVID-19 virus is beginning to crescendo for many people. They’re trying to concentrate, to do work from home or create something – or to home-school their kids – and the constant … Continue reading

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Why Teachers Become Bullies

Last time, I talked about additive strategies and subtractive strategies, and how insecurity in social currency invites people to take “the low road” to preserving or gaining status. This time, I’m going to provide an example of how that “low … Continue reading

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Malls Model Authoritarianism

Capitalism and Social Metrics: On a recent paragliding trip to Mexico, I watched the social interactions of boys who follow pilots to help carry and pack-up equipment. In terms of an after school job, they have it better than I … Continue reading

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21 ways to New Year’s Resolution Success

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Here are 21 tips for making New Years Resolutions easier and more successful. May they help you realize all your ambitions and dreams in 2015! Forget deadlines or acquisition of goals. They aren’t products … Continue reading

Posted in Cultivating Character, Dealing with Fear, Decision-Making, Get Rid of Anxiety, High Performance, Procrastination, Self Esteem, Stopping a Bad Habit | Comments Off on 21 ways to New Year’s Resolution Success

How to Fail at New Years Resolutions

Quality failure requires proper planning. Here are five stealth methods for failing your New Year’s resolutions – because success would be lonely. Most people think a “lack of willpower” is enough to guarantee failure – and that’s one excuse, but … Continue reading

Posted in Cultivating Character, Decision-Making, High Performance, How to Be Happier, Procrastination, Self Esteem | 1 Comment