Category Archives: Cultivating Character

How to cultivate the character of the person you want to be

Masks of Fear 4: Mask-ulinity

Posted on August 2, 2020 by John

You should refuse to wear a “face condom”. And, it’s easy to explain because you can use the same lame excuses: “I’m too big” – you can’t find a mask big enough to cover your enormous, chiseled, masculine jaw. “I’m … Continue reading →

Posted in Cultivating Character, Dealing with Fear, Dealing with Shame, Decision-Making, How to Be Happier, Self Esteem | Leave a comment

Masks of Fear 3: Implausible Denial

Posted on July 28, 2020 by John

When faced with shocking or emotionally painful information, one of the most common reflexive responses is “no” – or “you’re kidding me”. It’s a way of stepping back from the initial impact. This response (called “denial”) is the first of … Continue reading →

Posted in Anger Management, Coping with Sadness, Cultivating Character, Dealing with Fear, Dealing with Shame, Decision-Making, Get Rid of Anxiety, How to Be Happier, How to Stop Worrying, Procrastination, Relationships, Self Esteem, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Victim Status – according to Brodsky

Posted on June 2, 2020 by John

I write a good bit about victim status, seeking it, the utility of it – and the price. I just came across this fragment of a commencement speech by Joseph Brodsky, from 1988, where he speaks eloquently and directly about … Continue reading →

Posted in Anger Management, Bully Blog, Coping with Sadness, Cultivating Character, Dealing with Fear, Dealing with Shame, Get Rid of Anxiety, How to Be Happier, Relationships, Self Esteem, Uncategorized | Comments Off on Victim Status – according to Brodsky

Landmarks of the Self

Posted on May 10, 2020 by John

People construct and experience their identity – their place in the world – largely based on their interactions with others. Disruption of one’s social interactions can lead people to lose sight of the landmarks they have chosen to navigate their … Continue reading →

Posted in Anger Management, Coping with Sadness, Cultivating Character, Dealing with Fear, Frustration, Get Rid of Anxiety, How to Be Happier, How to Stop Worrying, Self Esteem, Uncategorized | Comments Off on Landmarks of the Self

21 ways to New Year’s Resolution Success

Posted on December 30, 2014 by John

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Here are 21 tips for making New Years Resolutions easier and more successful. May they help you realize all your ambitions and dreams in 2015! Forget deadlines or acquisition of goals. They aren’t products … Continue reading →

Posted in Cultivating Character, Dealing with Fear, Decision-Making, Get Rid of Anxiety, High Performance, Procrastination, Self Esteem, Stopping a Bad Habit | Comments Off on 21 ways to New Year’s Resolution Success

How to Fail at New Years Resolutions

Posted on December 23, 2014 by John

Quality failure requires proper planning. Here are five stealth methods for failing your New Year’s resolutions – because success would be lonely. Most people think a “lack of willpower” is enough to guarantee failure – and that’s one excuse, but … Continue reading →

Posted in Cultivating Character, Decision-Making, High Performance, How to Be Happier, Procrastination, Self Esteem | 1 Comment

Defuse Bullying with Resilience and Humor

Posted on November 12, 2014 by John

We define bullying as “social sorting through despotic means”. In that way of thinking, we could liken attempts to bully as someone trying to seize the role of “casting director” for the social “play” at hand. Refusing to be cast … Continue reading →

Posted in Bully Blog, Cultivating Character, Dealing with Fear | Comments Off on Defuse Bullying with Resilience and Humor

Stop Group Bullying (2)

Posted on May 15, 2014 by John

Last time, I revealed how humans have intuitive, unconscious, evolved awareness that being mean can be socially profitable. That (unconscious) awareness of this is not lost on our little darlings. And, if we want to stop group bullying we’re going … Continue reading →

Posted in Anger Management, Bully Blog, Cultivating Character, Dealing with Fear, Dealing with Shame, How to Be Happier, Self Esteem, Uncategorized | Comments Off on Stop Group Bullying (2)

5 Ways to Fail Your New Year’s Resolution

Posted on January 30, 2014 by John

It’s the end of January. Have you failed your New Year’s resolutions yet? Because quality failure requires proper planning, it’s important to know why the vast majority of New Year’s resolutions FAIL. Most people think a “lack of willpower” is … Continue reading →

Posted in Cultivating Character, Decision-Making, Get Rid of Anxiety, High Performance, How to Be Happier, How to Stop Worrying, Procrastination, Self Esteem, Stopping a Bad Habit | Comments Off on 5 Ways to Fail Your New Year’s Resolution

Five Steps to Fulfillment, Duck Dynasty Style

Posted on December 20, 2013 by John

Five Steps to Fulfillment are hiding in plain sight – inside our Fascination with the Fringes. We keep hearing about the Kardashians – and about Phil Roberts, of “Duck Dynasty”. In both cases, the people involved activate tribal identity and … Continue reading →

Posted in Cultivating Character, How to Be Happier, Self Esteem | Comments Off on Five Steps to Fulfillment, Duck Dynasty Style